I joined them back in the living room, still sitting around the table.
“Okay. Can I tell you guys everything that just happened in the last hour?”
They all agreed and gave me the floor. I flipped the recorder back on giving them the synopsis all the way up to just a moment ago when I read the Preface of the book.
“I asked him if I could write an album based on this poetry book. Because in here it says in the past I have never made a serious attempt to write any poetry or other written works of any consequence. This attempt, I am sure, will have no literary impact on the world!”
“...and I read that and I thought that’s wrong. I need to bring this to life.”
I explained how all my life I’ve felt detached from my last name, assuming I’d have to give it up anyway when I got married. But that after sitting with Papa and learning more about our family history and the name Spear, I suddenly felt connected to it. Without stopping to breathe, I continued.
“It took me forever to find meaning in my first name because I was different. And there were no other Kahrins around me and everybody pronounced it wrong. I just hated my name when I was a kid. But then I grew into it understanding the ethnic tie to Norway which is your side of the family,” I said pointing to Mom.
She chimed in listing Karen, Karmen, and Kareem as a few mispronunciations.
“And tonight I have found roots and a home in Dad’s side of the family in Spear. I feel in my my own skin for the first time in my life. Kahrin Spear—I know who that is. I understand who I am and where I’m from. And I’m so thankful for that.”
Dad pulled me in for a big bear hug while Papa told me about his parents, William and Clarice.
“Your great grandpa. My dad and my mom, Kahrin, were absolutely very special people. Very very special people. Salt of the earth people.”
But before he could finish his thought, family members interrupted him saying goodnight. Everyone wanted to get a good nights rest before the big day the next day.
I asked if I could interview him on Sunday morning after the wedding and he agreed.
“Let’s meet at 10 o’clock,” he said.
This page is dedicated to my oldest brother, Johnny Spear. Thank you for bringing us all together. It allowed Papa and I to connect in this special way, catalyzing this project. Also, singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” for your dance with Mom after hearing her sing it to you and Kyle all those years growing up is a memory I will cherish forever.
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